Q: Can you walk across water like Dynamo?
A: No

Q: Can you make trains vanish like David Copperfield
A: No

Q: Can you turn my £10 note into a £50 note?
A: No

Q: Can you make my wife/husband/cat disappear? *
A: No

Q: Can you...
A: No

* delete as applicable

"Stu manages to combine jokes and magic effortlessly and to great effect" - Pun Run